When a normal person loses his girlfriend, he is forced to get over her. But when a ridiculously rich man gets dumped, he has options. A 50 year old man who was recently rejected took a play right out or Lars and The Real Girl by recreating his girlfriend as a realistic sex doll with all of her best virtues, only bigger breasts. Let’s just hope he’s at least not taking her out on dates.
If you love male genitalia, the Icelandic Phallological Museum better be on your list of places to see before you die. The museum doesn’t just have animal penises, but it also features imagined peni of characters such as Grover. For more disturbing museum articles, check out this Cracked article.
If you lived in a small town in France and assumed that a strange incident fifty years ago involving bread, mass hallucinations and at least five deaths were related to mind control experiments by the CIA, people would think you were insane….That is, until recently uncovered documents proved you right.
Ever wonder what Jessica rabbit would look like in real life? It certainly wouldn’t be the way this 57 year-old great-grandmother looks after multiple plastic surgeries to look like her cartoon hero. Disturbingly, Playboy has contacted her about doing a spread.
Ever since Alanis Morrisette came out with her breakthrough hit “Ironic,” people throughout the world have had a hard time understanding what the word actually means. If you’ve had a little bit of trouble getting your head around the definition, then here’s an easy way to tell.
If something happens that you really don’t want to happen, like “rain on your wedding day,” it’s not necessarily ironic. If something happens that tests the limits of absurdity because it is the exact opposite of what you would expect to see happen, then it is ironic.
Perhaps the ultimate example of irony in this decade is the news that Octomom, the woman who is known solely for filling her uterus to capacity, has paired with PETA to work on a spay and neuter campaign. While this works for PETA, who has a knack for being absurd, it’s the ultimate in hypocrisy for Miss Baby Mama 2009 to try to tell animal owners to do the exact opposite of what she has become famous for. I mean, the woman admitted to having an “addiction” to being pregnant.
What’s next, Snoop Dogg telling kids not to smoke marijuana? Janis Dickinson speaking out on botox?
I say she get her tubes tied and then we can talk about her pushing for spay and neuter programs.
Here’s a thought, if you work for a police agency that specializes in air travel, don’t test your screeners by using real explosives planted on unwitting tourists. The Slovakian air police did just this and one of the eight explosives was not detected and the poor Irish tourist was arrested near the end of his journey. It wasn’t until three days later that the Slovak police got in touch with their Irish counterparts and told them to let the man out of jail.
CNN has reported that a number of people have been experiencing serious depression after viewing Avatar because they cannot live in the imaginary world seen on screen.
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” some loser named Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “
Here’s a tip: if you are feeling this low after seeing Avatar, you probably should just kill yourself because your life is obviously an empty void to start with.
Personally, I would never want to walk around with a computer that has a gaping asshole on the front. If you are a member of 4 Chan or just love sick internet memes like two girls and one cup though, this decal would serve an additional purpose for you –no one would ever steal your laptop.
At least, if you’re a Republican. Senate candidate Andy Martin says the free encyclopedia is actually “a tax-exempt protosocialist scam that seeks to harass Republicans, conservatives and Obama opponents.” He’s actually suing the site for fraud. He goes on to say that both Wikipedia and Wikimedia are “anti-conservative, anti-Republican and anti-Obama opponent smear operations.” This all coming from someone who still doesn’t believe the president is a U.S. citizen. Gee, I wonder why this nutjob is losing so badly at the polls so far.
Researchers have revealed that your chances of getting on a plane that has a potential terrorist are far far lower than your chances of getting struck by lightning. “Therefore, the odds of being on given departure which is the subject of a terrorist incident have been 1 in 10,408,947 over the past decade. By contrast, the odds of being struck by lightning in a given year are about 1 in 500,000,” says FiveThirtyEight.
Meanwhile, the TSA is taking even greater steps to destroy anyone’s desire to ever get on an airplane or ever travel to the U.S. again. They want to prevent any electronic devices from being in the cabin during international flights into the U.S. Everyone will be patted down before boarding, and, you also cannot get up during the last hour of the flight or even use a blanket during this last hour. You tell me, is there really any level of risk we should give up these rights for?
Image via mugly.